Citizens of the United States and the United Kingdom having difficulty deciding which candidate to support in the political arena, now have an unexpected choice for office: Alice Cooper. The acknowledged “Godfather of Shock Rock” has announced a new campaign to become the President of the United States and Prime Minister of the U.K. Using the election slogan, “A troubled man for troubled times,” Cooper published a detailed manifesto on his website outlining his political policies, one of which is getting vocalist Brian Johnson back in AC/DC. His ten-point platform reads as follows;
- Getting Brian Johnson back in AC/DC
- A snake in every pot
- No more pencils, no more books
- Adding Lemmy to Mt Rushmore
- Rename Big Ben “Big Lemmy”
- Groucho Marx on the $50 bill
- Peter Sellers on the £20 note
- Cupholders required for every airplane seat
- Ban on talking during movies in movie theatres
- Ban on taking selfies, except on a designated National Selfie Day
An official press release from Alice Cooper’s representatives says, “Alice Cooper is tired of the rhetoric – the mudslinging – the media frenzy. Keeping his snake in his cage and the guillotine in storage, he is putting people before career. Alice Cooper wants to be elected. The campaign ties in with Cooper’s revival of his 1972 song ”Elected” which he recently re-recorded. An official website, Vote Alice Cooper (www.votealicecooper), has launched which allows fans the opportunity to create vote banners, download “Elected” as well as purchase “President Alice Campaign Packs” that include such goodies as stickers, buttons, posters, a t-shirt and a “Billion Dollar Bill.” Also featured on the site is a video of Cooper performing his campaign song, “Elected” in Biloxi, Mississippi where he is joined onstage by representations of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.
