But I Don’t Wanna Hear KISS ALIVE!

KISS just recently announced that for their upcoming KISS Kruise, the fifth of its kind, they will be performing they’re 1975 live album KISS Alive! in its entirety. Proving once again… they can’t get anything right. How out of touch are these guys to think that their fans, the level of such that would plunk down a couple thousand dollars to float around the ocean with them, would look at this as good news. Much less as a big announcement.

Are you fucking high? What die hard fan hears that and gets excited? I think the only record I’d want them to play less would be Double Platinum. You want to give the fans something special? Play the fucking Elder in its entirety. Makes more sense. It’s at least a fucking concept album. Does it really matter if you play 100,000 Years right after Watchin’ You?

Paul can get away with that bullshit excuse for why KISS NEVER plays any deep tracks during a tour with Def Leppard or some other past their prime hit machine added to the bill to sell a few tickets. As weak as it is, an argument can be that many people at a show like that aren’t going to be too into KISS running a couple tracks off of Unmasked. But on the KK, the opposite is true. To my point here’s the ships passenger manifest for the upcoming KISS Kruise.

Boat crew.

KISS.

People who know every KISS song who if they were being honest would admit they don’t need to hear Rock N Roll All Nite again. Ever.

The announcement that they are going to play a record filled with half of their setlist from the last 20 years is the band giving us a wedgie. In a recent podcast with Chris Jericho, Paul complained that touring with Ace and Peter meant being held hostage to a limited number songs because those two can’t play anything else. Later in the same interview he defensively stated that just because someone like me might enjoy hearing a song like All The Way, NOBODY, (his words) nobody else would. And he wonders why people think he comes off as bashing Ace and Peter. They would play a more diverse set if Ace and Peter could play it. And now that they aren’t in the band to blame it’s because nobody wants to hear it? Well fuck that. That’s pretty convenient and frankly a lazy cop out and it’s time someone shoved Paul’s head in a toilet.

From the set list’s I’ve seen they’ve done a decent job of digging deeper in to their repertoire on the previous Kruises. But still shoved Detroit Rock City, Cold Ginand of course, Rock N Roll All Nite into the buttholes of those attending. I’m not suggesting those songs are bad songs. I’m saying damn near everyone buying a ticket for the KISS Kruise has heard and can hear those songs anytime. This is a very unique gathering of the diehard KISS fan and KISS. Take this rare opportunity and give them performances they won’t get anywhere else. Deep tracks from some of your less celebrated records. Rather than belabor a point that has zero chance of being taken seriously, I’ve compiled a list of Bakko approved songs KISS should choose from for this and any future KISS Kruises. There is no reason to perform any song not on this list.

Kissin’ Time

Love Theme From KISS

All The Way

Mainline

Strangeways

Room Service

Two Timer

Getaway

Ladies In Waiting

Lover Her All I Can

Anything For My Baby

Great Expectations

Flaming Youth

Sweet Pain

Do You Love Me

Take Me

Baby Driver

Love Em Leave Em

Mr. Speed

See You In Your Dreams

Got Love For Sale

Almost Human

Hooligan

Then She Kissed Me

Plaster Caster

Anything off of side 4 of ALIVE II

Anything from any of the solo albums

Dirty Livin

Charisma

Magic Touch

Xray Eyes

Save Your Love

Hard Times

Anything on Unmasked

Anything on the Elder

I’m A Legend Tonight

Down On Your Knees

Nowhere To Run

Partners In Crime

Danger

Rock N Roll Hell

Killer

Saint and Sinner

Keep Me Coming

Exciter

Not For The Innocent

Gimme More

All Hell’s Breakin’ Loose

A Million To One

Dance All Over Your Face

And On The Eight Day

I’ve Had Enough

Burn Bitch Burn

Get All You Can Take

Lonely Is The Hunter

While The City Sleeps

Murder In High Heels

King Of The Mountain

Anyway You Slice It

Trial By Fire

I’m Alive

Loves A Deadly Weapon

Secretly Cruel

Radar For Love

Uh! All Night

I’ll Fight Hell To Hold You

Hell Or Highwater

My Way

When Your Walls Come Down

Good Girl Gone Bad

Thief In The Night

Turn On The Night

Let’s Put The X In Sex

(You Make Me) Rock Hard

Betrayed

Prisoner Of Love

Read My Body

Love’s A Slap In Face

Silver Spoon

Cadillac Dream

King Of Hearts

The Street Giveth

You Love Me To Hate You

Somewhere Between Heaven And Hell

Little Ceaser

Boomerang

Tough Love

Spit

Heart Of Chrome

Thou Shalt Not

Paralyzed

I Just Wanna

Anything off of Carnival Of Souls

I Pledge Allegiance To The State Of Rock N Roll

We Are One

Raise Your Glasses

I Finally Found My Way

Dreamin’

Journey Of 1,000 Years

I’m starting think it would’ve been easier to make a list of songs they shouldn’t play. Gene. Paul. Look at all that material you have ignored your entire career. How can you have so many songs that aren’t worthy of you? You wrote them. Recorded them. Released them. Why not play them? There’s a lot of great music there. You should play it. KISS fans won’t revolt. Quite the opposite. Think how cool it would be to dedicate Little Caesar to Eric Carr. Imagine how blown away they’d be if you played one of the new tracks off of Killers for fucks sake. You could even drop some Wicked Lester on their unsuspecting asses. They would NEVER forget that. And wouldn’t you as musicians like to mix it up? Don’t you get sick of some of the songs you play? The KISS Kruise is the perfect opportunity to play only obscure songs.

KISS shows are legendary. It may be their biggest contribution to music. From Lady Gaga, to Garth Brooks to U2. Much of what constitutes a live show started with KISS. I get why they might be protective of it. But KISS isn’t just the show. KISS isn’t just 20 songs. One of the things that makes being a fan so enjoyable is their colorful history. They would be well served by not looking at so much of it as mistakes and start embracing them as artistic decisions. Paul made a compelling argument that the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame should recognize the groups entire history. If so then KISS should do the same with the live performances. And if by chance you are a KISS fan who only likes to hear them play the 20 – 25 songs they’ve been playing from since 1996, well go fuck yourself. They play those songs all the time. Give us this.

HATE MAIL

But I Don’t Wanna Hear KISS ALIVE!

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