2012: The Year in Music.

In deference to the Mayans being so kind as to leave us signs that this will be the last year of the Earth (ha), I’ve decided to do a little bit of prognosticating myself. No, I won’t be telling your fortune, per se, and I won’t be reading your palm. What I am going to do is tell you the future of music; or, at least the next several months of music. I’m not going to cover every single month or every single release because, frankly, some of the stuff being released isn’t even funny and I have no intention of breaking international laws by torturing you.

March 26 IRON MAIDEN-En Vivo

I know there are some who don’t particularly like this band, but I do so bite me. I still say that singer Brent Smith belongs in the realm of Bruce Dickinson, Layne Staley and Sebastian Bach. This guy has vocal talent that many only dream of.

Well here we go again, and no I’m not talking about David Coverdale. Yes, it’s time for another KISS album. Sure it’s KISS and everyone will run out and buy it, but at this point KISS has more to lose by releasing a new album than to gain. If they release a great album it will just be another in the long line of KISS, if it sucks though, well then they become a joke. After all, you’re only as good as your last album and at this point the members of KISS are getting a little old and have far less time in front of them than behind them. But, I have faith in Gene and Paul and actually expect a good effort and even not being a fanatic KISS fan I’ll probably, wait for it…buy my FIRST KISS album. I know, I know, I’m late to the party. It’s not that I don’t have KISS on the old MP3 player, I’ve just never gone to the store and bought an entire album. Hoping there’s no disappointment.

With the original lineup of Ozzy, Tony Iommi, Geezer and Bill Ward you’d expect this to be incredible. Well, just to top that off, it is going to be produced by Rick Rubin which all but guarantees it to be one of the absolute best albums of the year. This is a presale I will getting into.

Apparently Lemmy thought other bands sucked at playing their own songs so he’s just going to show them how to do it right. A definite purchase for me. But as of right now, there’s not much info on what songs will be on the album or band lineup. So, just turn on Top 40 Radio and imagine how Motorhead would do it.

Ah, Slayer. Yes, Slayer. That is all.

So if you didn’t get tired of Creed sucking, well here’s a second chance. Scott Stapp has gone solo; obviously even his fellow band mates just couldn’t handle him anymore. The only thing worse would be a perfect storm of Stapp opening for Nickelback. What have I just done? Damn I hope no one from the networks or record labels took that as a good idea, otherwise we’re all screwed.

ICP, the band who has supplied the soun
dtrack to trailer park meth labs across America. Once again, there is no justice in the world. They say only the good die young, so I guess we have another century or two of these idiots. This has to be some sick joke; there must be some international human rights law against releasing shit like this. But since there isn’t we’re going to be “blessed” with the fanatical delusions and ramblings of Juggalos and more talk about their fascination with Faygo. If you’ve never had the pleasure of a five minute conversation with a Juggalo, you don’t know what you’re missing and for that you should be eternally grateful.

What I expect from this album, which I will most definitely waste the brain cells on, is more of the fundamental questions of life as in their previous albums such as,

Sorry, I get a little teary eyed when I read great poetry.

Ok, I don’t watch American Idol so I didn’t know what this “thing” was when I first saw it. To be honest, my first thought was, “wow, dark Goth chick with daddy issues. Sounds hot.” Then, I found out it was a guy. Ouch. On a related note, this was also comparable to my first impression when I saw the previews to Brokeback Mountains. I thought, “Hey, cool a new cowboy movie”. Luckily I found out what it was about before going in blind and being surprised. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being judgmental, but sometimes surprise is a little too much. For reference just watch the “Two Girls One Cup” reaction videos and see what happens when what you expect is clearly the opposite of what you get.