“Where’s my ball?” “Was my head up?” “Did you see where my ball went?” “Was my head up that time?” “I think my head was definitely up because I saw where the ball went.” “Where’s my effing ball?” “I was sure I didn’t have my head up that time!” “Did I have my head up, that time?” “…Where’s the beer cart!!!!!!!”
And so begins round two of the KiLLeR DWaRfS Rock Against Hunger charity golf tournament, and your own favorite Decibel Geek foursome have been let loose on the course for another year.
Our ringers this year… Our own Wally “Wallygator” Norton, and my husband Chris “knower of all obscure things related to music in the 80’s” Thompson. To complete the foursome, Rich “The Meister” Dillon and of course me… “Metal Kate”. We arrived at Lakeridge Links and Whispering Pines with plenty of time to get some practice under our belts on the putting green, but when we realized the bar was opening in five minutes, the choice was clear. We were among the first to arrive, but after a few minutes, many of our metal family rolled in to join us. Fans had flown in from Phoenix, from Colorado, Chris from Indiana, and many other places. Dwarfnation is a loyal family. The turnout was almost double of last year, which is not a surprise since last year was obviously so much fun!
This year’s goal was much the same as last year, to have a blast and raise some money for a great charity! After the first swing, it was clear that Wally and Chris, were at least, adequate. While Rich and I had obtained absolutely no more skills in the game of golf than we had last year.
“What number (club)?”, “Where’s my ball?”, “Where’s the flag?”, “Do I use a big one or small one?”, “Which way are we shooting?” “Was my head up?” “Seriously… Where’s my ball?” “I didn’t think my head was up but I saw where the ball went so I guess my head must’ve been up”. “Oh, f%#* it!! Lol. Where’s the beer cart!!”
Everybody had a blast, but I have to believe that we probably had the most fun. On hole 10, there was a lovely lady trying to advertise insurance, so we had her shoot for us. She fit right into our foursome, as she had no golfing skill either. But she sure did laugh a lot. And somewhere along the road we had the beer cart lady shoot for us as well. She was actually worse than us, which was a surprise. She was a pretty fantastic sport, however, letting us pose like the geeks we are, on top of her beer cart.
One of the highlights of the course was Darrell “DWaRf” Millar and his drum kit on hole six. We started out at hole seven, so whole six was the 18th hole for us. Due to our incredible skill and loss of all balls, it took us a while to get through the first 16. So at 16, we made the executive decision that our game was finished. Luckily too, because our dear friend Darrell Dwarf, had been holding off tearing down the drum kit so the Geeks could get there and take pictures! His lovely wife, Stracy, even texted us to get a move on. This game was very little to do with golf, anyway, so skipping a couple of holes was totally worth it.
Dinner was great, and we sat at a table with the other foursome playing behind us. We were 7A, they were 7B. The funny thing was, we were so concerned about holding them up throughout the whole game, and when we finally met them at dinner, they were drunker than us!
At hole 10, the insurance lady had had us fill out ballots to win one of four LCBO (liquor store) gift certificates. When the prizes were drawn, the Decibel Geeks won three out of four. Coincidence do you think??
There were lots of Great prizes and silent auction items. Chris and I bid on and won the KiLLeR DWaRf autographed commemorative golf tournament drumhead, for our music room. It’s pretty fabulous!!
And there it was…another golf tournament in the books. And just as much fun as last year, if not more. Exhausted, we were in bed before 10pm and Rich (who for the second year in a row, doesn’t remember dinner), had to work at 8am. I have no idea how he does it! He’s a rock ‘n’ roll machine!
So if you’re thinking about an adventure for next year, plan to come up to Toronto for the third annual KiLLeR DWaRfS Rock Against Hunger Golf Tournament! You won’t be disappointed. It’s for a great cause, and it is an absolute blast!
Until next year…
“Metal Kate” Thompson.
PHOTOS WITH DARRELL MILLAR BY: Mike Sobocan