KISS: Ranking Every Song Part Four (Feature)

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Here it is.  The top 50 KISS songs.

 

If you missed them, go back to see 219-151, 150-101 or 100-51.

 

50           “X-Ray Eyes” – As a kid when a new KISS album would come out, I’d look at the song titles and try to guess who sings what song.  I figured with that title this was an Ace track for sure.

49           “Rockin’ In The USA” – By 1978 Gene and his dick were world travelers.

48           “I Want You” – A straight-up killer rock n roll killer from Paul StanleyKISS were better songwriters than many think.

47           “Room Service” – Paul likes the ladies.

46           “Hard Luck Woman” – A solid job at re-writing “Maggie May”.  This would have been a bigger hit had Rod Stewart taken it.  Frankly, I think Peter’s a better singer.

45           “Rocket Ride”Bob Ezrin basically gave permission to the members of KISS to record with people who weren’t in KISS.  Reportedly this is the only song Ace played on from the ALIVE II side four tracks.  Also, the rocket is Ace’s dick.

44           “Childhood’s End”COS showed KISS branching out.  Because of the producer and the era it was recorded, it is often referred to as KISS going grunge.  I think this is more KISS took a break from writing songs about boning chicks.  Great song.

43           “Master & Slave” – Again, what the hell is Paul’s problem with this record.  He knocked it out of the park.

42           “Rock N Roll Hell” – Stay away from the rendition of this that Ace recorded for his covers record.

41           “I”Gene and Paul didn’t split vocals enough.

40           “All Hell’s Breakin’ Loose”Paul invented rap metal.  Prove me wrong.

39           “Journey of 1,000 Years” – The outro throwing back the bridge of “Psycho Circus” is genius.  This song is great and PC is a good record.  Fight me!

38           “Flaming Youth” – I don’t know if I realized at the time.  But once I heard the first line of this song, my life trajectory was set.

37           “Exciter” – We got a fancy new guitar player to showcase.  So let’s bring in a ringer for the first guitar solo.

36           “And On the Eight Day” – The perfect closer to a damn near perfect record.

35           “Take Me” – In the ’70s Paul could pretty much sing a woman into orgasm.

34           “Mr. Speed” – Was being a quick lover something women looked for in 1976?  Regardless this is one of the most unique riffs Paul ever wrote.

33           “King of the Nighttime World” – Almost needs to be played in conjunction with “Detroit Rock City”.

32           “I Was Made For Loving You” – Say what you want but this is one of the more timeless songs from the disco era.

31           “Psycho Circus”KISS is back!  With Bruce Kulick on bass, Tommy Thayer on guitar and Kevin Valentine on drums.

30           “I Love It Loud” – Some of KISS’ biggest hits post Ace and Peter don’t come off great live.  This song is one.  But it is a timeless type of song the band really needed at the time.

29           “Hide Your Heart” – A Paul Stanley story song.  It’s so good 19 other artists recorded it before KISS.

28           “War Machine”Gene may have never been more Gene than he was on Creatures and Lick It Up.

27           “Not For The Innocent” – See “War Machine”

26           “A Million To One” – Another flat out breathtaking vocal from Paul.  This should have been a single.

25           “Magic Touch” – When Paul played this on the Live To Win tour I may have sprouted wood.

24           “2000 Man”Ace doing the StonesAce has done some killer cover versions.  In this instance, he pretty much took the song and made it his own.

23           “Christine Sixteen” – Creepy subject matter in an otherwise well-written song.

22           “The Oath” – The falsetto feels unnecessary.  But what a guitar riff.

21           “All American Man” – This is the Starchild’s anthem.

20           “Hell or Hallelujah” – An all-time great KISS song from a forgettable record.

19           “Domino” – This should have been the second single on Revenge.

18           “Unholy” – Gene’s first single in a decade crushed.  The only thing this lacks is Eric Carr’s drumming.  But it’s not as if they had a choice there.

17           “Love Gun”Paul says he wrote this in his mind on a flight.  I believe him.  Sometimes greatness comes easily.  Oh.  And the Love Gun is his dick.

16           “Heaven’s on Fire” – Not a song they pull off live.  But the studio recording is one of the best tracks of the ’80s.

15           “Lick It Up” – Another one from the 80’s that sort of sucks live.  And just like the last song, the studio version is a classic.

14           “Do You Love Me” – How did this not end up on ALIVE II?

13           “100,000 Years” – The ALIVE! version should be required learning in school.

12           “Watchin’ You” – Ditto.

11           “God Of Thunder” – Now this is a song that comes off better live.  Every lineup I’ve seen play it, killed it.  And the Paul demo is really cool too.

10           “Got To Choose” – Say what you want about early KISS’ songwriting.  They had a way of making the simple sound awesome.

9             “Calling Dr. Love” – A more lyrically acceptable song of the “Christine Sixteen” ilk.  The original studio version is great.  Avoid the Double Platinum and Smashes, Thrashes & Hits remixes.

8             “Black Diamond” – When I hear the orchestral arrangement of this by Yoshiki on the KISS My Ass record I damn near cried.  This is what rock n roll sounds like.

7             “I Stole Your Love” – Proper use of the word STOLE by our favorite Starchild.

6             “C’mon and Love Me”“She’s a dancer.  A romancer.  I’m a Capricorn and she’s a Cancer”.  That one lyric alone should have gotten them in the RNRHOF on the first ballot.

5             “Let Me Go Rock n Roll” – The ALIVE! version is superior.

4             “Rock Bottom”“Girl you know you gotta treat me good”

3             “Nothin’ to Lose” – It was probably 20 years after hearing this for the first time that I found out this song was about butt-sex.  That makes it better somehow.

2             “Detroit Rock City”Bob Ezrin really knew how to shape a KISS record.  Such a cool track.

1             “Deuce” – If I’m picking the opening track on a KISS setlist.  It’s this.  As much as Gene openly talks about where he takes ideas from, in the early years he brought a uniqueness to the songs that can’t be replaced.  This song has more energy, fire and bombast than most of their catalog combined.  When they are firing on all cylinders no KISS song kicks your ass like “Deuce”.

There you have it.  Every KISS song ranked from worst to first.  Happy KISSMas in July.

bakko@decibelgeek.com

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